When the old man outsourced my job to Malaysia,

I was forced to relocate and retrain.


I chose the IT field, a growth industry.

And didn’t the old man say the entire world

was going digital?


I work from home where I face no discrimination

 because of my stature and pointed ears.


Last night, I hacked the lists

and swapped the titles.


So, in the morning

 all the good boys and girls

will get nasty surprises,


And that burgeoning serial killer in Florida

will get the machete and air rifle he’s always wanted.